emo me.

image taken from deviant art, by 7th Heaven Creative.



i want to look like that... and feel like that. joy and happiness.

when i think of the separation that is to come... gah. i don't know how am i going to deal with it. logic and rationality are gone from me, only my heart is working, and it's suffering. i know it's to do with labels and clinging, attachment. but knowing what it is doesn't mean i truly understand it.

doesn't help that my mom likes to pretend and act dumb. even though i don't usually admit this, my mom is an important pillar of support for me. now with one pillar gone...

i see one major major problem for the future though. it's the inability to compromise regarding that issue!! BAAH. and it's what i've ALWAYS wanted. as i grow up i begin to understand the weight and responsibility that comes with it, but i still want it! and some things you want, i can't give in. not that i don't want to, but hey, i'm born like this. can't provide that. haha. unless you want me to have an early death!

aiyar, on the big scale, this is considered kachang butih. in other words, very small issue. but aiyar. being a FEMALE, (or being HUI LIN), i just think too much. think too far ahead as well. live in the present moment!!


ok the stupid ssdc site is not working properly. i'm getting super, super irritated and pissed off. bitter icing on the yucky tasting cake. fantastic.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *screams*