Toast to the end, and to a new beginning

It's been a difficult period.

Difficult times always bring out the best, and in this case, the worst in people. Separation is painful, but it has taught me independence, and to stop neglecting myself.

Times have changed.


A future together is impossible. I hope that someday, when all wounds have been healed, a platonic friendship may be possible.


When will that be? That's for time to tell.

growing up

so my mom says. part of growing up. or rather, i MUST grow up.

sigh. hate this. i suspect 3/4 of my energy is spent in such useless ways, thus decreasing my ability to concentrate and absorb info.

maybe i should go on the search for other pastures? the unfortunate need to be understood and accepted. guess the problem lies within myself being unaccepting.

why why why why.


just not in my face, can?

the feeling of having no one to turn to. lonely, no?

and so my heart closes

sometimes i wonder... what's the point of having friends? or more of, what's the point of having these particular types of friends? do they care anyway?

i guess the most important is still family and loved ones. only they bother to listen and really care.

it's so hard to be nice when i feel sidelined.

patience? training? f*ck it.

ok... despite the curses, i guess taking it as training is the only way i can get through it.

with such things happening again and again, i can feel it. my heart is closing up again. layer by layer.

i'm sad. and despite it all, i want people to know, and to care. despite myself trying so hard to act nonchalent, to act as if i'm happy and it doesn't matter. try and try and try. and it still hurts. hurts. hurts.

hurts.

stressed stressed stressed fear fear fear arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

what i like in men

random factoid of the day:

i realise what are my weak spots in men.

1) i love veins. woohoo. those lovely protruding veins in the arms... in the groin crease... gaah. i half suspect that it's got to do with me doing iv cannulation. ppl without easy to find veins? eee unattractive HAHA.

2) the forearm muscles. ooo. especially when the guy wears a long sleeve shirt and rolls it up to his elbow, exposing just enough of his forearm. *slurps*

well so far these are my favourites. anything else is a bonus. LOL.

wow, i sound like a pervert.

XKCD: Friends

maaan. this is hilarious. i wonder if this is how i function as well! LOL.

check http://xkcd.com/ for more comics

accommodation

ohh the situation's so messy

i can't wait for september for only ONE reason. so that i can settle my accommodation for next year.

how i wish everyone can decide and the results of our placement would be out soo! but oh wells, can't be helped.

it makes me feel like simply applying for malaysia so that my accomms would be settled. BUT even then, my place in malaysia won't be guaranteed.

urgh. pissing off.