i've just learnt something new from my brother, and i must remember it.
Attraction is cheap.
anyway, i am starting to not believe in True love. i do not believe that there is someone really suitable for another person anymore. it's just a whole load of bull. i'd stick to anime and manga characters, thank you very much, for my perfect guy. because i can just imagine him to be Perfect, the way I want him to be, and with the "bad habits" that i personally find endearing. a real human male will not be able to match up to our imagination and needs.
at this rate, i doubt i'd get married(although i really want to wear a wedding dress hahaha). but i still want to get pregnant. maybe i'd visit the sperm bank, HAHA.
i don't think that all of my experiences have been a waste of time(oh hell, we have loads of time. how many countless rebirths have i experienced similar things), even though i sometimes am inclined to think so. it's just kind of sad that i have given up on having a "perfect love", that i've finally stopped believing that a prince will sweep me off my feet one day.
sometimes i entertain the thought of going into the film industry. i guess it's because in my roles, i can live a lie, and perhaps have an enjoyable on screen romance where i can bluff myself that "the perfect guy" exists. heh. oh, i will love to be the lead actress in taiwan idol dramas. HAHAHA. dream on lar hui lin.
i need to be more brave and start exploring buddhism. especially when i'm in such a disillusioned state. i shall start going for buddhist fellowship's sunday services next year.
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merry christmas, everyone!
ytd, we had a class outing, and somehow the venue became my house in the end. had fun, chatted with my cousins whom i haven't met in a while after my class left. my young cousins are really growing up. time waits for no one.
today i met up with karm and ta. had a great chat. things are the same, and yet they are different. haha, what do you expect?
but i still love them, and hope for the best for them :).
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*this part of the entry is deleted, because i finally managed to calm down. so yep! it's a small matter lar, but it still affects me. shall work harder to overcome this obstacle! :)*
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