Self-Contempt

I detest myself.

I detest myself for thinking of certain things, making myself upset in the process. It's pretty senseless, really. There was no point in thinking in that way, and there was no reason to. It's just me, thinking too much, when I should be spending that kind of energy doing something much more useful and productive.

Only consolation was that that proved that I could act pretty well, considering that I only faltered in front of one person.

It is a matter of Pride. What an ugly word, when used in this context. How could I make something that is simply a combination of black strokes on white into something so loathsome?

I made it Ugly. I am Ugly.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


bio lecture was a waste of time. well, because i fell asleep haha. but i was super pissed off about how he was taking his own sweet time, when he himself already said that he was in a rush. urgh. and wasting time over "jokes". how truly humourous.

PE was great. because i finally PLAYED. i finally got a chance to really play. in my own terms, perhaps. managed to vent all of my frustration pretty well in that game.

ooh something really nice happened today! when i was waiting for my mom to come and pick me up from the school porch(outside the bookshop area), i spotted 2 squirrels! and boy, were they fascinating to watch. watched them for about... 10 minutes. absolutely lovely creatures. :) brightened my day after that impossibly sucky bio lecture.


...sigh.