sometimes you think you are doing something good, to make certain people happy. but a lot of times, you unknowingly hurt others around you in its process.
i guess it takes a certain amount of tact. perhaps those who are hurt have their own issues to settle as well. anyway, carry on and do what you think is right, but wait for the right time and place. or perhaps privacy.
on separate note, i'm truly frightened. oh well.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
whoever's reading this, please don't read too much into this. this is 99.9% not about you. and it's based on separate, unrelated events.
yet again, i doubt anyone reads my blog anymore! which is good! then i won't hurt ppl unknowingly hahaha.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
met up with good friends ytd, and will be meeting a lot more in the next 2 weeks. really glad to be meeting up with people that i would never have done so in the past. too much fear then. the fear and insecurity is still there, but it's less. and heck it! let's have fun :).
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Friday, April 09, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Say No to Rape
Haven't been up to date with Singapore news lately. Just heard about the furore on the marital rape immunity law in Singapore. I was truly appalled, I would have never expected Singapore to have such a legislation. Check this out.
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/09/in-spore-raping-your-wife-is-not-rape/
The 3 videos in there by GetReal, Channel News Asia, are really good. Do watch them if you have time.
Lastly, do go to the link below and sign the petition to repeal the Penal Code. They need 10000 signatures by 30 November, and they have only gathered around 2600 signatures so far. Spread the word!
Rape is rape. There are no exceptions.
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/09/in-spore-raping-your-wife-is-not-rape/
The 3 videos in there by GetReal, Channel News Asia, are really good. Do watch them if you have time.
Lastly, do go to the link below and sign the petition to repeal the Penal Code. They need 10000 signatures by 30 November, and they have only gathered around 2600 signatures so far. Spread the word!
Rape is rape. There are no exceptions.
Friday, May 15, 2009
to be judge, and to be judged
"afterall, sexuality is only a very small part of a person."
..and so are other small things that come together to be part of us. so how can we judge someone to be good or bad just based on a single quality?
for example, you may hate a person for doing something that you deem to be wrong. however, that's just one thing that this person has done in his life, as opposed to the many other good things that he may have done.
who are we to judge anyway? they might have reasons for their actions; and these reasons are borne out of other previous encounters. and these are in turn borne out of other situations again. also, are we going to count the number of good versus bad things this person has done, in order to determine his calibre? what if the "good deed" he has done is more "important" than the "bad deed"? what if he has good intentions for doing the "bad deed"? there are so many things to consider, that i think it is impossible for us to come to an unbiased decision about a person's character. passing out judgements is tiring and painful to both the judge and the judged.
may i keep this in mind whenever i start being critical of others, and also equally importantly, myself.
what i've been experiencing for the past few weeks and this video inspired this entry. thank you for the video dear!
..and so are other small things that come together to be part of us. so how can we judge someone to be good or bad just based on a single quality?
for example, you may hate a person for doing something that you deem to be wrong. however, that's just one thing that this person has done in his life, as opposed to the many other good things that he may have done.
who are we to judge anyway? they might have reasons for their actions; and these reasons are borne out of other previous encounters. and these are in turn borne out of other situations again. also, are we going to count the number of good versus bad things this person has done, in order to determine his calibre? what if the "good deed" he has done is more "important" than the "bad deed"? what if he has good intentions for doing the "bad deed"? there are so many things to consider, that i think it is impossible for us to come to an unbiased decision about a person's character. passing out judgements is tiring and painful to both the judge and the judged.
may i keep this in mind whenever i start being critical of others, and also equally importantly, myself.
what i've been experiencing for the past few weeks and this video inspired this entry. thank you for the video dear!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
in a foreign land
went for my community based placement today.
realised loads of stuff. a great day for self-reflection.
being an asian (especially when you were born in asia) in a western country does have its problems. i feel that you take a longer time to get acknowledged. not so bad in uni, maybe because the tutors are used to and HAVE to try to reduce their biasedness; but not so elsewhere. sometimes it's because they take a longer time to warm up to you. sometimes maybe it's because you are less chatty than your western counterpart; you may be considered very good in your home country, but you will not be good enough here.
and it doesn't help when you have a more-than-excellent partner. where the amount of work you have done is normally thought to be of normal to above average standard, it's totally negated because your colleague's work is way beyond excellent. that's fine, and i totally respect my partner for her effort. the problem is, i get judged by others for being less than imperfect.
...sigh.
realised loads of stuff. a great day for self-reflection.
being an asian (especially when you were born in asia) in a western country does have its problems. i feel that you take a longer time to get acknowledged. not so bad in uni, maybe because the tutors are used to and HAVE to try to reduce their biasedness; but not so elsewhere. sometimes it's because they take a longer time to warm up to you. sometimes maybe it's because you are less chatty than your western counterpart; you may be considered very good in your home country, but you will not be good enough here.
and it doesn't help when you have a more-than-excellent partner. where the amount of work you have done is normally thought to be of normal to above average standard, it's totally negated because your colleague's work is way beyond excellent. that's fine, and i totally respect my partner for her effort. the problem is, i get judged by others for being less than imperfect.
...sigh.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
beri beri stress
my exam ended on wednesday. went out for a simple dinner on that day to celebrate.
and then, immediately, back to stress. didn't have enough sleep, no time to really relax, and have been trying to (and finally did) rush through my assignment.
can seriously feel my heart faltering as i was working through the night. sometimes i really wonder if my heart will suddenly just stop functioning. a very scary feeling.
and this is only the first half of sem 1! my goodness. death unto me.
on another note, check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydZHy_KRXE
super hilarious!!
and then, immediately, back to stress. didn't have enough sleep, no time to really relax, and have been trying to (and finally did) rush through my assignment.
can seriously feel my heart faltering as i was working through the night. sometimes i really wonder if my heart will suddenly just stop functioning. a very scary feeling.
and this is only the first half of sem 1! my goodness. death unto me.
on another note, check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydZHy_KRXE
super hilarious!!
Saturday, April 04, 2009
fly
a random post.
things i need: a new slingbag! the zipper on my yellow slingbag given to me by my cousin is spoiled :(.
things i want: to go to japan for exchange. i really, really want to go to japan. even if not for exchange, then for a backpacking trip with friends! but japan's an expensive place to go to :(. and i really should start learning japanese. should i go and buy or borrow a book/audiotape? hmms.
suddenly i really feel like going travelling. backpacking baby! :)
to xinhui: yar lor! hahaha. ok la let's be nice, he's not too bad la. he's pretty gd actually. he can be romantic if he wants to! ;p heee
things i need: a new slingbag! the zipper on my yellow slingbag given to me by my cousin is spoiled :(.
things i want: to go to japan for exchange. i really, really want to go to japan. even if not for exchange, then for a backpacking trip with friends! but japan's an expensive place to go to :(. and i really should start learning japanese. should i go and buy or borrow a book/audiotape? hmms.
suddenly i really feel like going travelling. backpacking baby! :)
to xinhui: yar lor! hahaha. ok la let's be nice, he's not too bad la. he's pretty gd actually. he can be romantic if he wants to! ;p heee
Monday, March 30, 2009
and that's how the story goes
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
~Mary E. Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.
~Mary E. Frye
Thursday, March 19, 2009
marry me?
ever heard of a marriage proposal by writing the words "marry me" across the sky, with the help of an aircraft? or like having a helicoptor fly with a banner tied to its tail with something sweet written on it?
yea, it's really common, especially on idol dramas and in manga etc. it's every girl's fantasy! or at least most of ours.
and you thought that it only exists in dreamy-hopeful-land?
guess what... no! today, while walking home with c, i saw in the sky "marry me?" in the sky. like OMG.
really want to tell wj abt it, like how romantic ppl can get (hahaha), but just in case he, or whoever else i tell, expresses disbelief, i'm all prepared to shoot them down! cuz i have proof!
check out the photos! it was hard trying to take them, cuz of the sun, the trees, the buildings.
...really sweet :).
.jpg)
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yea, it's really common, especially on idol dramas and in manga etc. it's every girl's fantasy! or at least most of ours.
and you thought that it only exists in dreamy-hopeful-land?
guess what... no! today, while walking home with c, i saw in the sky "marry me?" in the sky. like OMG.
really want to tell wj abt it, like how romantic ppl can get (hahaha), but just in case he, or whoever else i tell, expresses disbelief, i'm all prepared to shoot them down! cuz i have proof!
check out the photos! it was hard trying to take them, cuz of the sun, the trees, the buildings.
...really sweet :).
.jpg)
.jpg)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
byebye singapore
i'm leaving my house in 1 and a half hours.
and guess what am i doing? i'm cleaning up the desktops in my house (grabbing whatever that shld be with me in australia; ie. Manga), and am frantically downloading whatever manga that i missed out. i'm also furiously ripping music off cds which i have at home.
there's one thing that i should have done, but haven't done in my hols in singapore. ok fine, a few things.
1) buy an extra mechanical pencil.
2) study.
aiyar, i can do both of them in australia right? no hurry. thus no worries.
will be handicapped for the next week without internet. sobs. how, oh how.
anyway, goodbye singapore. will miss you.(?)
:)
and guess what am i doing? i'm cleaning up the desktops in my house (grabbing whatever that shld be with me in australia; ie. Manga), and am frantically downloading whatever manga that i missed out. i'm also furiously ripping music off cds which i have at home.
there's one thing that i should have done, but haven't done in my hols in singapore. ok fine, a few things.
1) buy an extra mechanical pencil.
2) study.
aiyar, i can do both of them in australia right? no hurry. thus no worries.
will be handicapped for the next week without internet. sobs. how, oh how.
anyway, goodbye singapore. will miss you.(?)
:)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
blah blah
this is going to be a useless entry again. you have been warned.
decided to youtube the song mentioned in the manga Kiss. the song is "Je te veux" by Satie. very nice :). it's been a while since i've appreciated an instrumental piece by a westerner. yet again, maybe it's simply because i haven't been listening to enough variety.
Gymnopedie No. 1 by satie is good too!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
sometimes i wonder what do i fear so much. is it due to repulsion, ego, or... aiis it's just me thinking too much again. learn to live and let live. and do what i have to do. yeppers.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
watched He's Just Not That Into You (HJNTIU). it's an ok show, not bad la. love the jennifer anniston and ben affleck pairing. their story is sooo sweet. hate the adulterous couple pairing (jennifer connelly, scarlet johansson and some guy). even though it's 9 mins longer than slumdog millionaire (SM), SM feels much longer. perhaps it's due to the theme, very heavy. HJNTIU is a nice sweet romantic movie with some heavy parts here and there, but overall palatable. SM is more unnique though.
decided to youtube the song mentioned in the manga Kiss. the song is "Je te veux" by Satie. very nice :). it's been a while since i've appreciated an instrumental piece by a westerner. yet again, maybe it's simply because i haven't been listening to enough variety.
Gymnopedie No. 1 by satie is good too!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
sometimes i wonder what do i fear so much. is it due to repulsion, ego, or... aiis it's just me thinking too much again. learn to live and let live. and do what i have to do. yeppers.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
watched He's Just Not That Into You (HJNTIU). it's an ok show, not bad la. love the jennifer anniston and ben affleck pairing. their story is sooo sweet. hate the adulterous couple pairing (jennifer connelly, scarlet johansson and some guy). even though it's 9 mins longer than slumdog millionaire (SM), SM feels much longer. perhaps it's due to the theme, very heavy. HJNTIU is a nice sweet romantic movie with some heavy parts here and there, but overall palatable. SM is more unnique though.
Monday, February 16, 2009
just enjoy the show
it's been a pretty good day so far!
even though i woke up feeling sick (actually i've been feeling sick ever since i sent the bf off at the airport), the day's been really good.
first, i received the email that i am granted the fee payment extension. and i managed to transfer half the money over. then i received the earrings that i bought online in the mail today. later, i had a nice little chat with j.
and the best part of the day was, the bf called! oh, the sound of his voice was like music to my ears! ok that's really cheesy. HAHAHA. anyway, to hear his voice and know that he's safe and sound; it totally made my day :).
i love this song "The Show" by Lenka! it has a very cute tune and mtv. the music makes me feel happy.
ok to be fair, the bf calling wasn't like the best part of the day. instead, it's more appropriately labeled as the very important point of the day. that's because after his call, everything and anything became good and enjoyable! his call changed my perspective. even my flu and sore throat ain't making me feel as miserable as i had been feeling before. therefore, his call is even better than "the best part of the day".
:)
even though i woke up feeling sick (actually i've been feeling sick ever since i sent the bf off at the airport), the day's been really good.
first, i received the email that i am granted the fee payment extension. and i managed to transfer half the money over. then i received the earrings that i bought online in the mail today. later, i had a nice little chat with j.
and the best part of the day was, the bf called! oh, the sound of his voice was like music to my ears! ok that's really cheesy. HAHAHA. anyway, to hear his voice and know that he's safe and sound; it totally made my day :).
i love this song "The Show" by Lenka! it has a very cute tune and mtv. the music makes me feel happy.
"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show"
ok to be fair, the bf calling wasn't like the best part of the day. instead, it's more appropriately labeled as the very important point of the day. that's because after his call, everything and anything became good and enjoyable! his call changed my perspective. even my flu and sore throat ain't making me feel as miserable as i had been feeling before. therefore, his call is even better than "the best part of the day".
:)
see you again in a few months. :)
the bf's on the plane:).
spent the day at his place today. almost cried twice then (ok i teared la hahaha). almost cried on the way to the airport too. but i managed to tahan at the airport! good on ya! *pats her own back*
chatted with his parents and met his uncle and auntie. and i really enjoyed it. one thing that i like about it is that i feel really at ease with his family. i don't have to purposely talk a lot, i don't have to put in effort to impress them or anything. it's a really comfortable atmosphere where i can be sincere and be myself. no pressure at all. and they are all really funny, cute, and down to earth. so real and humbling.
learnt a lot from his father. his father is really cute and funny! think he had a great influence on wj. they have very refreshing and wise perspectives on things. was a very enriching conversation. there were two "lessons" that i really liked:
1) 世上没有爱情, 只有感情. (and some nice cheem thing in chinese about starting a relationship by falling in love, and ending the relationship due to wrong views)
2) 世上没有好人和坏人, 只有好事和坏事. [There's no such thing as good people and bad people; there's only good deeds and bad deeds.]
liked the second one the most. hope i won't forget that.
on the way back home, while i was still his parents and relatives, i met my big uncle (da jiu jiu) on the mrt! like OMG. fate la. hahaha. luckily i had to tahan the slightly weird atmosphere for only 1 stop. was actually feeling worried that da jiu jiu will talk to wj's family after i get off, and that he will find out tt i'm attached, and he will report to my mom, and i will die, and and and... hahaha. then i decided that i was worrying too much for nothing. and if that really happened, then it's fate! everything will be in the open then and i won't have to avoid talking about him all the time. it will be shiok la! thus, either way? win-win :).
i realised that our relationship has really matured, as compared to how it was 1 year ago. may we continue on our journey together with faith, dilligence, and right effort. thank the buddha, dhamma, sangha!
feeling contented. yet i can feel the temptation to think about the lack of his presence, which will cause the hollow feeling in my heart to arise, making me feel like crying again.
ahh! i'm thinking too much!!
despite fearing separation and death, i do appreciate it. it is always a good way to remind ourselves to be in the present moment and LIVE. enjoy, appreciate, be.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
dammit, haven't paid my sch fees due to a screw up with the bank. and my application for a fee extension was rejected! urgh. just emailed the course administrator, and pray that i'll be given a few days grace. damn stressed.
spent the day at his place today. almost cried twice then (ok i teared la hahaha). almost cried on the way to the airport too. but i managed to tahan at the airport! good on ya! *pats her own back*
chatted with his parents and met his uncle and auntie. and i really enjoyed it. one thing that i like about it is that i feel really at ease with his family. i don't have to purposely talk a lot, i don't have to put in effort to impress them or anything. it's a really comfortable atmosphere where i can be sincere and be myself. no pressure at all. and they are all really funny, cute, and down to earth. so real and humbling.
learnt a lot from his father. his father is really cute and funny! think he had a great influence on wj. they have very refreshing and wise perspectives on things. was a very enriching conversation. there were two "lessons" that i really liked:
1) 世上没有爱情, 只有感情. (and some nice cheem thing in chinese about starting a relationship by falling in love, and ending the relationship due to wrong views)
2) 世上没有好人和坏人, 只有好事和坏事. [There's no such thing as good people and bad people; there's only good deeds and bad deeds.]
liked the second one the most. hope i won't forget that.
on the way back home, while i was still his parents and relatives, i met my big uncle (da jiu jiu) on the mrt! like OMG. fate la. hahaha. luckily i had to tahan the slightly weird atmosphere for only 1 stop. was actually feeling worried that da jiu jiu will talk to wj's family after i get off, and that he will find out tt i'm attached, and he will report to my mom, and i will die, and and and... hahaha. then i decided that i was worrying too much for nothing. and if that really happened, then it's fate! everything will be in the open then and i won't have to avoid talking about him all the time. it will be shiok la! thus, either way? win-win :).
i realised that our relationship has really matured, as compared to how it was 1 year ago. may we continue on our journey together with faith, dilligence, and right effort. thank the buddha, dhamma, sangha!
feeling contented. yet i can feel the temptation to think about the lack of his presence, which will cause the hollow feeling in my heart to arise, making me feel like crying again.
ahh! i'm thinking too much!!
despite fearing separation and death, i do appreciate it. it is always a good way to remind ourselves to be in the present moment and LIVE. enjoy, appreciate, be.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
dammit, haven't paid my sch fees due to a screw up with the bank. and my application for a fee extension was rejected! urgh. just emailed the course administrator, and pray that i'll be given a few days grace. damn stressed.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
where we come together. and we part once again.
went to my aunt's house today to pray as it's my grandma's death anniversary. rushed over as i was late. have to say that i didn't regret going at all. it was a nice warm feeling to see everyone again, given that we usually only see each other twice a year (christmas and chinese new year. also qing ming jie, but i won't be around for that any time soon i think). had a nice chat with my cousin! i really love my cousins and aunts and uncles. one thing that i sort of regret about is that we just don't meet up often enough. oh wells. you can't have everything in the world!
and indeed, you can't have everything in the world. like the bf is leaving tmr.
:(
yet, would i rather have a lousy relationship and be with him 24/7, or have a happy and loving relationship but not see him often enough?
the latter for me, then.
hahaha. sometimes i think i'm really sick. humans are sick. we like to torture ourselves. like how i'd just keep thinking of him and get lovesick. what sick nature.
lalalaaaa :)
and indeed, you can't have everything in the world. like the bf is leaving tmr.
:(
yet, would i rather have a lousy relationship and be with him 24/7, or have a happy and loving relationship but not see him often enough?
the latter for me, then.
hahaha. sometimes i think i'm really sick. humans are sick. we like to torture ourselves. like how i'd just keep thinking of him and get lovesick. what sick nature.
lalalaaaa :)
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