gosh, ego and envy is such a big ugly monster.
even though i tell myself to let go, the feeling still arises in me. like why does ___ get such treatment but not me?? [even though it's not confirmed that i wont be treated that way, but it's probably so, based on unfortunate experiences]
yet again, i can understand why i'm not given such treatment. it's just unfortunate that i'm sort of involved in ___ treatment, so i'm aware of it. such a horrid feeling.
aiya what a waste of time thinking of it. ok i'm done. hahaha :).
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