Med Ball 2008 - 20/09/08

alright, med ball's over! end of the days of restricting my diet! (yeah right)

mini bimbo talk: heng my make up this time round ok. realised that foundation and concealor are VERY impt. esp foundation.


felt that some ugly sides of me surfaced. didn't like those aspects of me. shall work on them.

after looking at how people get wasted and drunk and high, i'm even more turned off alcohol. think it's rather ugly, even when you see people who are just high. the things they can do.. given that i can get high without alcohol given the right conditions (and surely many others can as well), i shudder to think of my behaviour with alcohol, when you get less and less inhibited. i'd rather keep that side of me hidden and buried, preferably non-existant.

it was actually a pretty scary experience for me to see people get drunk and stuff. yes, as you can imagine, i'm very guai. hahaha. never see before. and i didn't drink a single drop of alcohol that day (much to the deprecating looks of at least 3 other people). {ok i'm pretty sure i phrased that sentence in the brackets wrongly, can somebody correct me? thanks hahaha.} seriously, what's so cool about drinking? if a person doesn't want to drink, leave her be. especially when ****** kept on asking me to drink, and gave me the oh-you-pussy-you-just-don't-dare-to-drink look (parden my crudeness), and i had to repeatedly reject him and explain myself. till i gave up cuz he wasn't worth my effort anyway. luckily C came to my rescue and told him that it's not that i don't dare to drink, it's just that i chose not to drink (and that's what i kept telling him anyway). and he looked really surprised when i mentioned that the last time i went to a jazz bar i drank a cocktail (before i chose to abstain from alcohol). i guess people just don't understand why some others choose to abstain from it? maybe it's because it seems to represent normalcy, socialbility, or simply "being in and cool". this might be a generalization, but i think people who are really empty in their hearts and don't have anything solid to fall back on and choose to drink to "add meaning", "zest", "depth" and "fun" to their lives might be even more deluded about it. like ******. urgh.

and when they think i'm not up to the challenge because i don't drink alcohol, i beg to differ. isn't it more challenging to stay off alcohol? when everybody seems to think that drinking is cool and is a form of socialising, and desire to obtain that "high feeling" which misleads them to think that they are happy for that one hour? it's THEM who are not up to the challenge. they would rather take the short cut to what seems like happiness. in reality, that isn't true happiness. it's short lived, you do stupid things that you regret, and you get hangovers and feel like shit soon after. it's empty. but so what? it's fast and you can obtain it with money, just throw the notes and down the pot. that's why many people get stuck in the horrid cycle of drinking and get addicted to alcohol.

to any others who read my blog, if you drink, i hope you aren't offended. it's ok if you want to drink, but just don't think that you are more hip and cool than those who don't, and don't force them to drink. i don't care about what you do, just don't impose your will on me.

sheesh, hope i've ranted most my cheesed-offness. heh heh!

bye guys, bathing time!


to Veron: hmm love life ahh, hahaha. dunno. that's why need u to tell me if got any mah! plus ur blog lyrics always so "dodgy". hehehe ;). oo analytical chem! not that i know what it is. but what's wrong with studying human body parts in detail?? i can teach u if u want... *cheeky wink* ;)