Friday, January 30, 2009

on infatuation

went out to "study" today with wj. was pretty tired but i survived hahaha. then met up with coconut and went to Udders! good ice cream. and they came up with a business plan that's of course, secret. hilarious:).


ok i wanna blog about infatuation, but i'm too tired. so i'll edit this another day. ciaos! :)

Friday, January 23, 2009

happy again! :)

soong teng: heey woman! haven't seen you in AGES. where are you??! hahaha. oh why am i happy that there's shit ah. cuz i already know how it feels like when there's no shit. but i wanna know how it feels like when there's shit! so that you know what you are feeling. and i also need to know how different types of shit feel.. like is it soft... hard... big... small... normal... abnormal... HAHAHA. ok think that's enough for the description. :D

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happy happy! talked to him for around an hour, once again my angst has dissipated. yaaaayyy! huilin = angsty-no-more-(for-now)!

ahaha reminds me of nt and her angst :p. am i so easily influenced? oh no...

wanna see him. *pouts* :(


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my foot's finally starting to hurt! the anaesthesia has worn off. pain is good.. pain is good....


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oh, and i have some other stuff to add on to the list of "achievements" that i've had as a medical student during this holiday... (continued from previous entry)

7) felt a fluid thrill from ascites. really thrilling.
8) heard 3 (or 4?) heart murmurs! think all were systolic heart murmurs if i'm not mistaken.
9) heard a few lung crackles! and one of the patient had a fully collapsed left lung, and an abnormal right lung. terrible.
10) felt an irregular pulse. it was just... irregular.
11) learning how to do percussion. far from mastering it, but at least i've been introduced to it.

will add on if i remember any more things :)!


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happyhappyhappy :)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

goodbye wart.

xun: omg!! that photo's like so crabby la! literally :). thanks, it really made me laugh. yea sure, catch up with u some day :). ehh u wont be in sg for CNY?


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just had my surgery today. dad excised a lump (viral wart) from the sole of my foot. think it was around 3-4cm in diameter. quite an interesting experience being the patient in ttsh after running around in the same OT for the past week as a medical student. will have trouble walking... no heels for CNY :(. sadness.

quite satisfied with what i've done as a medical student for this holiday:
1) sutured a 3 cm incision
2) assisted in a minor surgery
3) did 3 rectal examinations (one of which had shit in it, yay!)
4) took BP by the traditional method once successfully on a patient (HAHA. shows how lousy i am)
5) learnt stuff (both medical and more importantly, humanitarian)
6) saw dying patients, and felt loving kindness and tried to send it to them. :)


met wernie ytd. really refreshing to see her again after so long! even though she was kinda encouraging me to go into plastics and aesthetics (and to be honest, the amount of money earned is tempting), but currently i doubt i'd go into that field. yet again who knows. let's try not to moralise things.

thanks to wj and ajahn brahm, i don't feel the need to gossip so much (right now at least). but it's hard. environment, needs and wants dictate.

no reply thus far, again :(.

better prepare something rabbity for tonight!



[edit] ok so there's a mild improvement, but is that even considered an improvement, or simply mandatory? ok how woman of me (alright, more like petty). *grumble grumble whine whine* [/edit]

Saturday, January 10, 2009

crabby

hey xun:)! ehh since when did you leave? just realised that u arent in singapore when i saw your facebook profile! how have you been? goodness i feel so out of touch hahaha.

hey jq:)! ahhahaha i'm doing ok at school, results wise. but all stored in short term memory. so hmm yea i need to review my study methods, that's why i need revision mah. saad.



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anyway. officially feeling crabby.

according to dictionary.com...

crab-by
–adjective, -bi⋅er, -bi⋅est.
Informal. grouchy; ill-natured; irritable; peevish.


gaaarrhh. nothing really big (as usual) that made me like this. it just happened that i got my period today, and i sincerely think my mood swing is partly hormonal. kept on telling myself: "be mindful, breathe, breathe, breathe."

whenever i finally stop being annoyed, something else will happen and the grouchy monster comes rearing its ugly head again.

gaaarrhh.

be mindful, breathe, breathe, breathe.

Friday, January 02, 2009

hellow fellows

hey blog! it's been a while. how are you?

how am i? i've been good, thanks!

wanted to read anatomy, but couldn't bear to open up the book. and i ended up blogging. SIGH.

after i got back from australia, i went to malaysia for my cousin's wedding and then to china. first to hainan for a mission trip, and then continued on to backpack with 4 other classmates to zhaoqing, dong guan, fo shan, guang zhou, zhu hai, macau!

too many lessons learnt. and the biggest lesson of all: be mindful, and to keep my mouth shut if i have nothing beneficial to say.

went for 2009 countdown at BF. interesting experience, and i enjoyed it. lots of moments to test myself.

dad's first day at TTSH today. so far, so good.

and oh, dear blog, did you know that my mom was a nurse? well, I didn't know! after living for 20 years then did i learn that she was a nurse for a few years before she got married. how strange, how strange. and my parents still don't want to tell me much about it. *gives off a low growl*


wishlist:
1) iPod (need to find time to go buy)
2) GPS (oh, my life, my everything)
3) happiness for you and me :)




my life in summary?
...good enough :).

Friday, November 07, 2008

the pen is mightier than the sword

once again, i have come to the conclusion that words can hurt a lot. and to be careful about what you write on your blog. no matter what, it's the WWW. anybody can see it. especially if you've told others about your blog before, and you actually type out people's names.

de-identify, if you just HAVE to write about it.

it's bugging me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Everything - Michael Buble

"Everything"

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus]

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la





oo i love this song! especially the tune. loved it when zhilin played it on the guitar :).

Sunday, October 05, 2008

quick ramblings

GAH i'm so fat! really need to exercise!!!


singapore day was pretty fun. met peter monksfield! that totally made my day :).

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

P M S

when you thought The Grudge was bad enough... now you have The Grouch.

..approach at your own risk!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Flowers and "I"

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was thinking about ego and some of my friends. and how she always goes "i don't understand why (for eg) you dont like to eat this" etc. then i realised that why we often do not understand others is often because we're too full of ourselves. we tend to look at matters from where WE are standing from. the big letter "I". where "I" would behave in a particular way in a particular situation, and "I" cannot understand why people do not behave in the same way as "I" would. for isn't it natural, to behave as "I" am?

if we could really disregard ourselves, and put ourselves fully into the person's shoes, surely we can understand them, no matter how perverse or warped their thoughts are.

sometimes, we do accept other people's opinion, and weave them with our own, creating a new hybrid opinion that is now Mine. but as long as there's ego, where "I" exists, there can never be an opinion more important and correct than "Mine".


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flowers.

i never knew that i was that much of a flower person, till i came to melbourne. in spring (which happens to be now), wow, it's so beautiful! all of the flowers are blooming, you can never imagine that that was the same place just a month ago.

i realised that i really love small flowers. i don't really have a liking for large ones as i find them rather... vulgar. it's so big that it's ugly. from far, it catches your eyes first and may look really beautiful with its bold stunning colours; but when you come near, there's nothing more to it. you get to see its insides, the style, anthers, stigma, pollen... nothing pretty. just huge and vulgar.

small flowers are different. they look really sweet but they might not attract as much attention from far. but if you bother to come close and really observe it, it's really pretty and delicate. the internal structures are small too. and they tend to bloom in a bunch, really pretty! *smiles happily*

of course, there are some large flowers that can be beautiful too. for eg: spider lily. really elegant. if they are huge, they better be elegant. if not.. ah not my taste.

my dream house would be a cottage! with orangey-red bricks. and have a beautiful garden with manicured bushes and lawns, and with pretty pretty flowers! and there will be a tea table in the middle, where we can have afternoon tea. lovely :D! but yea, that's only possible if my house is in aussie though. and i hate their summer and winter. so too bad. hahaha.

talking about the weather, it's currently spring. and the flies are reviving :(.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

bad mood.

Friday, September 26, 2008

food for thought

"A dream that will come true is not a real dream."


An interesting perspective yea? and it makes perfect sense!

the best part is, guess where it came from?


...Fullmetal Alchemist. loL!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

speech check

ok thanks to veron's entry, i was reminded about my own resolution to myself to reduce the amount of profanities i've been using.

i shall avoid using:
what the sai (replace with: what the crap)
wah lao/piang (replace with: ??)
shit (replace with: sheesh/shucks/crap)
damn (replace with: darn. ok this one is really hard to stop saying)
bloody (replace with: bleaghh)
oh my god (replace with: oh my goodness/oh my mama/oh my)

ok, jia you!

Kurosagi

just watched the drama Kurosagi.

it's pretty good, gave it a 7/10 - 7.5/10. it'd have been better if the female lead character and the supporting female character wasn't in the story at all, they totally piss me off. can you imagine, i'd rather the show have zero romance in it. that's how bad they irritate me. lol.

yamapi was pretty good in the show. i didn't take to him immediately though (unlike chuns and chris hahaha). i think i started to like him more only in the 4th episode? that's quite pathetic actually haha.

i can't stand the police officer too. actually, the "good guys" in the show are all irritating. the "bad guys" (the swindlers) generally grow on you.

ok, the end. hehheh

Monday, September 22, 2008

Med Ball 2008 - 20/09/08

alright, med ball's over! end of the days of restricting my diet! (yeah right)

mini bimbo talk: heng my make up this time round ok. realised that foundation and concealor are VERY impt. esp foundation.


felt that some ugly sides of me surfaced. didn't like those aspects of me. shall work on them.

after looking at how people get wasted and drunk and high, i'm even more turned off alcohol. think it's rather ugly, even when you see people who are just high. the things they can do.. given that i can get high without alcohol given the right conditions (and surely many others can as well), i shudder to think of my behaviour with alcohol, when you get less and less inhibited. i'd rather keep that side of me hidden and buried, preferably non-existant.

it was actually a pretty scary experience for me to see people get drunk and stuff. yes, as you can imagine, i'm very guai. hahaha. never see before. and i didn't drink a single drop of alcohol that day (much to the deprecating looks of at least 3 other people). {ok i'm pretty sure i phrased that sentence in the brackets wrongly, can somebody correct me? thanks hahaha.} seriously, what's so cool about drinking? if a person doesn't want to drink, leave her be. especially when ****** kept on asking me to drink, and gave me the oh-you-pussy-you-just-don't-dare-to-drink look (parden my crudeness), and i had to repeatedly reject him and explain myself. till i gave up cuz he wasn't worth my effort anyway. luckily C came to my rescue and told him that it's not that i don't dare to drink, it's just that i chose not to drink (and that's what i kept telling him anyway). and he looked really surprised when i mentioned that the last time i went to a jazz bar i drank a cocktail (before i chose to abstain from alcohol). i guess people just don't understand why some others choose to abstain from it? maybe it's because it seems to represent normalcy, socialbility, or simply "being in and cool". this might be a generalization, but i think people who are really empty in their hearts and don't have anything solid to fall back on and choose to drink to "add meaning", "zest", "depth" and "fun" to their lives might be even more deluded about it. like ******. urgh.

and when they think i'm not up to the challenge because i don't drink alcohol, i beg to differ. isn't it more challenging to stay off alcohol? when everybody seems to think that drinking is cool and is a form of socialising, and desire to obtain that "high feeling" which misleads them to think that they are happy for that one hour? it's THEM who are not up to the challenge. they would rather take the short cut to what seems like happiness. in reality, that isn't true happiness. it's short lived, you do stupid things that you regret, and you get hangovers and feel like shit soon after. it's empty. but so what? it's fast and you can obtain it with money, just throw the notes and down the pot. that's why many people get stuck in the horrid cycle of drinking and get addicted to alcohol.

to any others who read my blog, if you drink, i hope you aren't offended. it's ok if you want to drink, but just don't think that you are more hip and cool than those who don't, and don't force them to drink. i don't care about what you do, just don't impose your will on me.

sheesh, hope i've ranted most my cheesed-offness. heh heh!

bye guys, bathing time!


to Veron: hmm love life ahh, hahaha. dunno. that's why need u to tell me if got any mah! plus ur blog lyrics always so "dodgy". hehehe ;). oo analytical chem! not that i know what it is. but what's wrong with studying human body parts in detail?? i can teach u if u want... *cheeky wink* ;)

Friday, September 19, 2008

hainan :)

just talked to des about the trip. omg i'm getting so excited!!!

we plan to go backpacking. shall talk more about our plans after it's confirmed. AHHH *jumps around happily* :)

oh, and regarding my assignment.. well, i managed to survive it. barely. hehhh.

cheers ;)!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

5:03am

a bit more to go.. shall try to do my annotated biblio now... then tmr do editing and summary.

my eyes are starting to defocus. and i can hear loads of birds chirping! it's a sign of a new day alr. AHHHHHHHHHhhh

teoh hui lin... you are simply amazing.

[edited 5 mins later] ok buay sai. heart palpatations and seriously can't think. good night world hahaha. [/edit]

procastinator is my second name

i'm so amazed by my ability to procastinate, if there's a job that requires procastination, i'd earn big money, big money!

a bit more to go with epi assignment, or maybe i'm underestimating it. remind me NEVER to procastinate to this extent again. this is one of the worst situations of procastination i've ever been in. urgh.

[EDIT] update! i left conclusion, biblio, and overall editing plus summarising. aw man, my brain and eyes are dead laaa. i can't believe myself. i'm amazing. *sigh*[/EDIT]

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

pon queen

wah at the rate i'm ponning lessons, i can be a pon star lar. haha!

ok la, not that bad. so far i've ponned 1 lesson of epi, 2 lessons of selectives (i'm going to pon my second lesson today), 1 lesson of clinical skills, 1 lesson of socio. that's for the entire year so far la. that should be all.

hmm i didn't count how many lectures i've skipped though. didn't skip many la.. maybe 4 for the entire year? and those i've skipped were seriously useless.

feel so pai as compared to myself in sec sch and in jc. hehehehe.

ok, better use my extra time wisely and finish my damn assignment!!!

Quote of the day

"A flower falls,
even though we love it;
and a weed grows,
even though we do not love it." ~Dogen